The Modoc Victory [guest post by Edward Fox, 8 February 1873]

[From the New York Herald, 1873; story by Edward Fox]

Herald Headquarters.

Lost River Camp, Oregon,

Feb. 8, 1873. [Abridged.]

T

he battle of the lava beds has attracted so much general attention, both from the fact of the United States troops receiving such a severe check and from the varied descriptions of the scene of the contest, that I have prepared a pretty full report of that memorable engagement, feeling convinced that the details will be read with interest by the public in general.

After Captain Jack was driven from his camp on Lost River and took refuge in the lava beds, it was thought at first that he would come to terms and the war would be ended without further bloodshed.  The addition, however, of fourteen warriors to his forces, that were really driven to the lava beds by the threats of the Linkville citizens, heated by Linkville whiskey, resulted in Captain Jack wishing to make his own terms.

But Major General Frank Wheaton, who, as the commanding officer of the [District of the] lakes, had come down in person to attend to this affair, soon arrived at the conclusion that if fighting was to be done the sooner this lava bed was inspected the better.  Arrangements were then made for an attack, and as soon as the available troops had arrived in the neighborhood General Wheaton had several councils with Colonel Green, Colonel Mason and others as to the best means of getting at Jack in his lair.  The lava beds were inspected and all the old settlers interrogated as to the geography, with reference to the moving of troops in that direction.  There appeared to be a good many opinions as to the nature of the ground within the lava beds section, and, although all agreed in saying it was a very rough country, no one was competent to describe the extraordinary volcanic formations that were afterwards discovered by the troops when they made the assault.  After mature consideration of the various plans of attack that were suggested General Wheaton decided to make a movement in force, which, should it prove successful, would at least enable him to obtain a satisfactory reconnaissance of the ground upon which to base his plans for any future aggressive movement.  Everything being arranged, the following orders were issued to the officers in command:—

Headquarters District of the Lakes

and of the Troops Operating

in the Modoc Country

Camp near Van Brimmer’s Ranch, Cal.,

Jan. 12, 1873.

General Field Orders—No. 3.

1.  The troops will move from their present camp east and west of the lava beds on Thursday, 16th of January, and take positions for the attack on the Modoc camp at sunrise on the following morning.

2.  At four A.M. on Thursday next Major John Green will detach Captain D. Perry’s Troop, F, First cavalry, and order it to clear the bluff southwest of Tule of Indian pickets and scouts, and cover the movement of the main force to a camp some three miles west of the Modoc position.

3.  Major E. C. Mason’s battalion Twenty-first infantry, two companies—C, Captain G. H. Burton, and B, commanded by Second Lieutenant H. D. W. Moore—and a detachment of twenty men of F company, Twenty-first infantry, under First Sergeant John McNamara; General J. E. Ross, Oregon volunteer militia, two companies—A, Captain Hugh Kelly, and B, Captain O. E. Applegate—and Lieutenant W. H. Miller’s battery—a section of mountain howitzers—will march from Van Brimmer’s Ranch to camp on bluff west of Tule Lake, in time to reach the designated camp not later than three P.M. on the 16th inst.  The camp will be so located and arranged as to be secure from observation by the Modocs, and every precaution taken to prevent the Indians from discovering our numbers and precise location.

4.  District Headquarters will accompany the troops.

5.  Early on the 17th of January the troops above named will move into the lava beds to attack the Modoc camp, and in the following order:—Major E. C. Mason’s battalion, Twenty-first infantry, leading, followed by General J. E. Ross’ Oregon volunteer militia and the section of mountain howitzers packed.  Captain D. Perry, Troop F, First cavalry, will follow the howitzer battery.

6.  When the troops have reached a position near the Modoc camp the main force will be deployed on the right of the infantry battalion, in close skirmish order, and a left half-wheel of the whole line will be executed in order to enclose the southern side of the Modoc position and connect the right of the main force with the left of Captain Bernard’s troop, who are simultaneously to attack on the east.

7.  Also the troops operating against the Modocs are to move from this camp, with three days’ cooked rations in haversacks, two blankets, one hundred rounds of ammunition on the person, and fifty rounds in close reserve.  Canteens will be filled at Little Klamath Lake by the troops moving from Van Brimmer’s Ranch, and care taken to water every horse and pack mule at that point, as there is no water on the bluff where the main force will encamp on the night of the 16th inst.

8.  Major John Green, First cavalry, is charged with the execution of these movements and the details of the attack.

9.  Lieutenant W. H. Miller, First cavalry, commanding the howitzer battery, will report to Major Green for orders and instructions as to when and where to prepare his guns for action in the proposed attack.

10.  The troops on the east side of the lava beds at Land’s ranch, Troops “G,” Captain R. F. Bernard, and “B,” Captain James Jackson, First cavalry, and the Klamath Indian scouts under Dave Hill, will move from camp on the 16th inst. to a point not more than two miles from the Modoc position.  At sunrise on the 17th this force will attack the Modoc camp, with their right resting on or near Tule Lake, and when sufficiently near to render the movement advisable a right half wheel will be executed, in order to connect the left of this force with the troops attacking from the west.  In his advance Captain Bernard will take steps to capture any canoes the Modocs may have near their camp, or at least use every effort to prevent Indians escaping by water.  Captain R. F. Bernard, First cavalry, will execute these movements under such detailed instructions as he may receive from Major John Green, First cavalry.

11.  After the first three shots have been fired by the howitzer battery as the signal for the troops attacking on the east side of the Modoc camp firing will cease for fifteen minutes, and an Indian scout directed to notify the nearest Modocs that ten minutes’ time will be allowed them to permit their women and children to come into our lines.  Any propositions by the Modocs to surrender will be referred at once to the District Commander, who will be present.

12.  Lieutenant W. H. Boyle, Twenty-first infantry, Acting Field Quartermaster and Commissary of Subsistence, and a guard of ten men, will remain at this camp in charge of the temporary field depot until further orders.

13.  Lieutenant John Adams, First cavalry, Acting Assistant Adjutant General, District of the Lakes, and commanding detachment, H troop, First cavalry, will furnish from his command such details as may be required for the howitzer battery, and accompany the District Commander.  Lieutenant Adams will be prepared to communicate by signals with the Signal Sergeant, who has been detailed for duty with the troops operating on the east side of the Modoc position.

14.  Assistant Surgeon Henry McElderry, United States Army, will give the necessary directions and instructions to the medical officers with the different commands and detachments in the field.

By order of

Brevet Major General Frank Wheaton, U.S.A.,

Lieutenant Colonel Twenty-first infantry,

Commanding District of the Lakes.

John Q. Adams, First Lieutenant First cavalry,

Acting Assistant Adjutant General.

In pursuance of the above and according to instructions, the troops moved from their quarters on the 16th inst. and camped in the respective locations to which they were assigned.  Colonel Bernard, with two troops of the First cavalry, had a little skirmish on the evening of the 16th, as in the fog, which is very prevalent in that section of the country, he advanced rather nearer to Jack’s stronghold than he intended, and when he found out his mistake and made a move to retire, the Indians opened fire from a position they had taken in the rocks.  They were finally driven from their shelter and forced to retreat to their stronghold, but not before they had wounded three of the cavalry.

On the following morning the troops had all arrived at their assigned positions, and at daybreak Lieutenant Adams, Acting Assistant Adjutant General, reported to General Wheaton, the District Commander, the following force in the field:—

Corps.	Commanding Officer                                          Muster
First cavalry	Captain Perry, F troop	46
First cavalry	Captain Jackson, B troop	42
First cavalry	Captain Bernard, G troop	47
First cavalry	Lieut. Adams, H troop	16
Twenty-first infantry	Lieut. Ross, B company	33
Twenty-first infantry	Capt. Burton, C company	57
Oregon field officers		7
Oregon volunteers	Captain O. Applegate, A company	56
Oregon volunteers	Captain Kelly, B company	46
California volunteers	Captain Fairchild	25
Indian scouts	Dave Hill	20
Total		400
There was also a section of mountain howitzers under the charge of Lieutenant Miller, of the First cavalry.
Table 2.1

The troops on the west side moved down the precipitous bluff from their camping ground in the direction of the lava beds, Colonel Mason’s battalion of the Twenty-first infantry leading, followed by Captain Fairchild’s California riflemen, General Ross’ two companies of Oregon volunteers, the howitzer section, packed on mules, under the command of Lieutenant W. H. Miller, of the First cavalry, and Brevet Colonel D. Perry’s troop of the First cavalry bringing up the rear.  The morning was damp and cold, and the lava beds were nearly obscured from sight by a dense fog, which, however, only hung over that section and did not rise to the bluff which the troops had just left.  The troops on the east side, commanded by Brevet Colonel R. B. Bernard, of the First cavalry, comprising his Troop G, and Brevet Major James Jackson’s Troop B, First cavalry, with twenty Klamath Indian scouts, commanded by Dave Hill, simultaneously advanced from the position they had taken the previous evening, two miles from Captain Jack’s stronghold.  On account of the deep chasm and gorge in his front Colonel Bernard was unable to advance further than the position he had reached by severe skirmishing on the evening of the 16th.

The advance, attack and management of the troops were conducted by Major John Green, First cavalry, Brevet Colonel United States Army, and the district commander, Brevet Major General Frank Wheaton, Lieutenant Colonel of Twenty-first infantry, accompanied the troops, operating on the west side.  This force had moved forward from the base of the bluffs, with Captain Burton’s company of the Twenty-first infantry ahead in skirmishing order.  Upon the arrival of the troops at the lake a rush was made for water, as the men were naturally thirsty, having passed the night at a dry camp.  The advance was then resumed across this rugged country, and it was with the greatest difficulty the men were kept in line, as the unnatural irregularities of the volcanic rock formed nearly insurmountable obstacles to their progress.  The line was now being deployed to the right, with Colonel Perry on the extreme right, stretching into the heart of this fastness about a mile and a half, while Captain Burton moved with his company on the extreme left, supported by Lieutenant Moore and his command on his right.  The Oregon and California volunteers spread out the line between the extreme points and kept a steady advance, although the nature of the ground kept an irregularity in the face of the line.

The plan of the attack was to keep deploying in a half wheel to the right until Colonel Perry should connect with Colonel Bernard, who was adopting similar tactics, but moving from the left.  The fog still hung low and shrouded the mysteries of this craggy fastness from these daring explorers, though the frequent crack of a rifle, followed by an unearthly war whoop, denoted some fresh victim to the unerring marksmanship of these dusky warriors.  It was impossible for men to do more than both the soldiers and the volunteers did on this occasion, and although every now and then there would be a vacancy in the muster roll, and some gallant soul would fall by the bullet of an unseen foe, another brave heart would fill up the gap and press on with the steadiness of a disciplined soldier.  In vain the troops looked high and low for some Indian sign, and although the fog would rise every now and then, not an Indian showed as much as the top of his head feathers.

About noon Captain Perry, on the extreme right, arrived at an impassable chasm, at least it was impassable without a fearful sacrifice of life.  Captain Perry sent back to the district commander that it would be impossible for him to connect with Colonel Bernard by the right except by an immense loss of life, and added that if necessary he would carry the chasm, but he did not expect to take ten men across.  General Wheaton then came to the conclusion that if the proposed connection could not be made they might as well retire and wait for a few days, and consequently issued orders to that effect, but gave Major Green a discretionary power to push forward and connect by the left if he deemed it feasible.  Major Green then ordered a flank movement by the left, and, skirting along the lake under the shadow of some craggy strata of volcanic rock, in the possession of the enemy, they finally made the desired connection, but not before the galling fire to which they had been subjected had thinned their ranks considerably.

It would fill columns to detail the incidents of this fight, which proved such a trial to the officers, soldiers and volunteers that formed the attacking party.  General Wheaton told me the other day that he had been through all the principal battles during the rebellion and he had never seen officers and men appear so utterly indifferent to danger or so cool and steady under such a harrassing fire.  The Indians did not waste much powder and shot, as they were excellent marksmen, and, having the advantage of a rest for the rifle and perfect safety from a return fire, were unerring in their aim.

Often a man would fall badly wounded, and, looking eagerly around for his enemy, would only see the smoke of a rifle curling up from a small hole on some inaccessible crag overhanging his position.  On one occasion a man was shot dead at a certain spot, and another man was sent with a stretcher to carry away his body.  The second met the fate of the first, and a third, who went on the same errand, fell badly wounded.  These three men all fell without knowing the position of the Indians who had shot them.

Every little narrow passage between the rocks that was likely to be of importance was guarded by two or three rifles peeping out from loopholes that the Indians had formed for that purpose.  On the move along the lake to the left the men had to move with the greatest caution, as the Indians had lined the overhanging bluffs with their men, and to show yourself in full view was nearly certain death.  They crawled on their hands and feet, making a dart every now and then from one rock to another, but still pushing forward in the direction of Colonel Bernard.  Captain Perry, who was with his troops on the left, while stretched behind a rock accidentally turned on his side and exposed a portion of his shoulder and arm, receiving a severe flesh wound, which compelled him to retire.  Colonel Green and Colonel Mason were perpetually in the hottest of the fire, and appear to have charmed lives, as although their uniforms were, in many instances, cut by a passing ball, neither received a scratch during the fight.  There was not an officer that went into the lava beds that did not come out with some portion of his clothing marked or torn by a bullet.  When the troops on the west side finally connected with Colonel Bernard they found him stopped from further advance by an immense chasm that appeared impassable, and which was strongly defended by Indians.

Shortly before dark the fog lifted slightly and showed the Oregon volunteers, a portion of Captain Perry’s troop and the infantry reserve still on the west side, and, at a signal from the District Commander, Major Green fell back to Land’s Ranch to camp for the night with Bernard’s command and the infantry battalion.  The Oregon and California volunteers retired by the west side and fell back in Van Bremer’s Ranch.  I cannot conclude without saying something of the difficulties experienced in the retreat to Land’s ranch, and of the bravery and heroism exhibited by the officers and men on that occasion.  They had been up since four A.M. and fighting since half-past six A.M. up to dark.  The retreat commenced at half-past ten P.M. and continued all night and up to one A.M. next day.  Thirty-three hours without rest or food are enough to try the patience and endurance of most men, but these gallant fellows never uttered a word, and were always ready to relieve one another at the end of a blanket, carrying the sick and wounded.  Surgeon McElderry worked unceasingly, and through the day was exposed on several occasions to a dangerous fire, but never flinched from his duty, and rushed from place to place to the assistance of the wounded.

17 January 2020

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 17 January 12020 is the Anniversary of Prime Minister Patrice Emery Lumumba’s Assassination in the Congo Democratic Republic. (Lumumba was a bit player in the Congolese independence movement; he was murdered by members of a rival faction in the presence of Belgian officers. People associated with the CIA and MI6 have also claimed credit for the assassination.) It is also allegedly Benjamin Franklin Day, though I can’t find any indication who celebrates it or what body proclaimed it. It celebrates the life and work of the philosopher, scientist, author, and statesman. In Virginia it is Lee-Jackson Day. This celebrates the lives of the American traitors Robert E. Lee and “Stonewall” Jackson.

In criminal news the trial of Donald J. Trump has begun in the U.S. Senate, with many Senators already on record for acquittal without having heard any evidence whatsoever. So much for justice, I guess. Given that the evidence already released shows that Trump is manifestly guilty of the charges against him, it seems that the only thing to be considered is whether the nature of the offense warrants removal from office. Constitutional ignorant people keep referring to impeachment as negating the result of an election; that is either a profound misunderstanding or outright falsification of the process outlined in the Constitution. If Trump were to be removed from office, nothing would be nullified. His vice-president would be sworn in, and life would go on as usual. I don’t know where these idiot notions come from; a lot of people—some of them actually in government positions—are extremely ignorant of how their own government actually works.

Now that Mercury has entered Aquarius we can expect things to settle down a bit; there are no major changes immediately upcoming in the planetary alignments. That’s probably all to the good; we don’t need any further distractions.

On this day in history (1873) a group of insurgent Modocs under Captain Jack, John Schonchin, and Shacknasty Jim held off the Federal army in northern California, much to the surprise of all concerned. They had been assigned to the Klamath Reservation, against their express desires, and preferred to hang on to their old lands in the Lost River country. As this conflicted with the greed of Oregon settlers and the desire of the Department of Indian Affairs to consolidate tribal units a small contingent of soldiers was sent out to herd the Modocs onto Klamath Reservation in November 1872, accompanied by a crowd of local settlers. The soldiers tackled Captain Jack’s village while the settlers took on John Schonchin’s, with disastrous results—the Modoc bands holed up in the lava beds where they were joined by another group under Shacknasty Jim that had attempted to go to the reservation, but were turned back by a mob of drunken settlers. A month or so later, when additional troops had arrived from Portland and San Francisco, a determined assault was made on the insurgents—who repulsed it with virtually no loss of life on their side. It was a rare Native American victory—and it wouldn’t last. By May the insurgents had surrendered, and in October they were sent to Indian Territory, in present-day Oklahoma, except for six of them, who were either hanged or sent to Alcatraz.

16 January 2020

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 16 January 12020 is Nothing Day, a day set aside for not celebrating anything. Well, sort of. In the United States it’s National Religious Freedom Day, in the Congo Democratic Republic it’s the Anniversary of President Laurent Kabila’s Assassination, and in El Salvador the Signing of the Peace Accords is commemorated.

The American election—in which I have no real interest—seems to have swamped all the other news, at least in the venues still open to me to read. CNN continues its pro-Trump coverage (as it did in 2016, don’t forget) by promoting Joe Biden as the Democratic candidate—a sure loser as far as I can see. Trump supporters aren’t going to vote for Fake Donald—especially when the fake is a bumbling boob with foot-in-mouth disease—when they already have real Donald, and those opponents that do will only vote for him under the delusion that he is the lesser of two institutional maladies—which has yet to be seen. Good ole Uncle Joe has already demonstrated that he can get his noxious schemes enacted into viable law to afflict all decent Americans—the Dopey Don has yet to prove himself in that department. Better the devil you know, and all that. Right? Am I right? Hello? Is anybody listening?

Is this thing even on? At any rate all the planets are in direct motion at the moment—nobody in retrograde—so we can expect a little progress in our daily endeavors.

15 January 2020

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 15 January 12020 is Bagel and Lox Day—also Strawberry Ice Cream Day. In Egypt it is Arbor Day (honoring trees); in India it is Army Day (glorifying their military); in Malawi it is John Chilembwe Day (remembering a Baptist minister who advocated resistance to colonial rule), and in Nigeria it is Armed Forces Day (celebrating the crushing of the Biafran independence movement). It is the real birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr.—as opposed to the day set aside for remembering his work.

From the news I gather that the Dopey Don is going to force children to pray in public schools by executive decree—or something like that; the details were not announced. (Children can already pray in school if they want to; that’s never been in question in the United States.) Possibly this is just another brainfart of the Lunatic-in-chief, and nothing more will be heard of it. And apparently neither Iran nor North Korea wants to deal with him on the subject of limiting nuclear weapons—not at this time, anyway, and possibly ever.

Venus will be in sextile with Uranus today, as if things weren’t bad enough. Otherwise the planets continue their malign conspiracies at the old Capricorn inn, as Mercury prepares to jump ship to Aquarius, if travel plans hold.

And in history this is the anniversary of the 1919 Great Molasses Flood in Boston, Massachusetts. Twenty-one people died and over a hundred were injured when a tank containing molasses exploded, sending a flood of the sticky substance through the North End neighborhood at thirty-five miles an hour, inundating people, horses, dogs, and whatever else was in its path. The company responsible for the disaster of course denied all responsibility for it in the good old American corporate tradition, and instead blamed imaginary anarchists for the results of their own cost-cutting incompetence. The good news is that it was ultimately called to account after a fashion—and after some years had gone by—by having to pay out small sums to the families of their victims, but the bad news is that none of the corporate criminals were actually punished. That wouldn’t have been fair to them, I suppose. After all, they were only trying to make a buck.

14 January 2020

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 14 January 12020 is supposed to be Organize Your Home Day. And Defenders of the Motherland Day (Uzbekistan). It’s Dave Grohl’s birthday. Also Benedict Arnold’s. And it’s a day when I’m feeling too lousy to write anything, or even type random letters one after another. On top of this goddamn hacking cough that’s probably going to turn out to be a symptom of pancreas breakdown or something, I’m sore from a visit to the dentist and I don’t feel much like blogging—or whatever it is that I’m doing while pulling together real pieces for the consideration of all my imaginary readers.

I see in the news that Cornplanter’s pipe—a gift to him from George Washington—has been returned to the Seneca people. I doubt that would mean much to Cornplanter; if I don’t have him confused with somebody else he ended his life thinking he had been a failure, betrayed by the American officials he had dealt with. He was right about the betrayals anyway—but he played the hand he was dealt with skill and honor. It’s been decades since I was knee-deep in the documents of his time and place, but his name still shines with a golden glow in my memory. Not that he’d care about that, either.

Well, the sun is in Capricorn of course—it’s that time of year—but so is practically everybody else, what with Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto (assuming that Pluto counts for anything since its demotion) all hanging out there as well. Still, Mercury’s just passing through on his way to Aquarius, so at least that influence will be negated.

On this day in history the Human Be-In was held in San Francisco in 1967. This “Gathering of the Tribes” was an attempt to forge an alliance among various factions in the counterculture—particularly the Berkeley radicals and the acid freaks derogatorily referred to as “hippies”. Participants included Gary Snyder, Dick Gregory, Timothy Leary, and Allen Watts, with music supplied by Big Brother and the Holding Company, Blue Cheer, the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, and Quicksilver Messenger Service. While remembered fondly by many of those who were there, Eugene L. Grogan, Jr., wrote in his lame and unintentionally hilarious book Ringolevio: A Life Played for Keeps:

The Human Be-In was publicized as a “Gathering of the Tribes,” but it was actually more a gathering of the suburbs with only a sprinkling of nonwhites in the crowd of three hundred thousand. … [Eugene L. Grogan (who wrote of himself in the third person)] walked to one side of the stage and stood below it, watching the so-called luminaries of the alternative culture. He felt a sense of anger and despair over the way the Be-In had been set up and presented. Their advertising had assembled three hundred thousand people, and all they gave them was a single stage with a series of schmucks schlepping all over it, making speeches and reciting poetry nobody could hear, with interludes of music. It was even more incredible to [Grogan] that the crowd crushed forward for a better spot where they could stargaze at the feeble spectacle. … More ham chewers trouped up to the mike and kept saying how wonderful it was with all that energy in one place at the same time. Just being. Being together—touching, looking, loving, embracing each other—that’s what it was all about, they said… Three hundred thousand people shouted repeatedly that they were one, and [Grogan] just sat on the grass and watched them pretend, wondering how long it was going to take before people stopped kidding themselves.

Self-serving and untrustworthy as Ringolevio is, I like the guy’s spirit. Rest in peace, Eugene L. Grogan Jr., wherever the fuck you ended up.

13 January 2020

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 13 January 12020 is listed as Clean Off Your Desk Day and Make Your Dreams Come True Day, as well as Liberation Day (Togo), Constitution Day (Mongolia), Stephen Foster Memorial Day (United States) and Coming of Age Day (Japan). And it’s Clark Ashton Smith’s birthday.

Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow. I’m really not feeling well.

12 January 2020

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 12 January 12020 is Marzipan Day, and, from what I can gather from various readily-accessible internet sources, Prosecutor General’s Day (Russia), Zanzibar Revolution Day (Tanzania), Berber New Year (Algeria), Memorial Day (Turkmenistan), and National Youth Day (India). It’s Jack London’s birthday, as well as Glenn Yarbrough’s and Christiane Amanpour’s.

I can’t tell what, if anything, is going on in the world at large, what with all the news being behind paywalls and only Ben Shapiro deigning to enlighten me with his views. Setting aside the Iranian crisis and the American election the pickings are slim to none. Still, no news is good news I suppose….

Mercury is in conjunction with both Saturn and Pluto today as it passes through Capricorn, which gives me a rather queasy feeling. (That could be the tamales I had earlier, though.) And Venus is entering Pisces, unsettling any romantic expectations for the moment. It might be a good day to stay in bed and meditate or something. What with Jupiter being in Capricorn as well it’s probably best to keep expectations low at any rate. Focus on the tasks at hand.

On this day in 1888 some 235 people, many of them children, froze to death when a blizzard unexpectedly hit the Great Plains in North America. Timing was critical here. The weather had actually been warming a bit before the cold front came in, and it did so while students were at school. Those who stayed had a better chance of survival than those who attempted to make it home, from the looks of things. I’ve always supposed that this was the model for the fictional snowstorm in Mark Twain’s “Schoolhouse Hill” fragment, but I don’t have my books at hand to check on the details, so for this entry it remains an unsubstantiated guess.

11 January 2020

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 11 January 12020 is the first of two days called Carmentalia by the Romans—the other being the 15th. (Why they had two identically-named festivals so close to one another in January appears to be a mystery—and as far as I could learn was to the ancients too.) It’s also Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day and the Birthday of Eugenio María de Hostos (this last observed in Puerto Rico).

As far as I can tell there is no actual news today—just pointless politicking and chaos. I imagine that stuff is going on as usual behind the smoke and mirrors, but I don’t have access to it. The American presidential election seems to have swamped everything else. Well, that and the Iranian war that Trump seems to be promoting—which, as far as I can tell, is just another election ploy.

10 January 2020

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10 January 12020 is Margaret Thatcher Day in the Falkland Islands. (Can anyone tell me what obscure historical event this commemorates?) It is also Cut Your Energy Costs Day, Majority Rule Day (Bahamas), and the Fête du Vodoun (Benin). And it’s my grandfather’s birthday, or anyway the day he celebrated as his birthday. I recall his being listed as born a day off in his baptismal record, but I don’t remember now which way—nor is it important. I have more confidence in the person himself getting the day right than some anonymous official, civil or religious. He’d be 120 years old today, if he hadn’t died decades ago while going out to milk his cows.

Nothing much is being reported in the news, as far as I can tell. It looks as though a Ukrainian airliner that crashed may have been shot down by the Iranians—presumably by accident. Another point scored for Donald Trump! Iraq is pointedly offering the United States its hat and coat as it suggests that it not slam the door on its way out. America pretends not to hear while it leans back in an armchair and demands another beer. Murdoch and Friends continue to insist that nothing unusual is going on in Australia—and anyway, it’s all the fault of Islamic arsonists (you know how they just love to set fires). And so it goes, one day at a time.

And the moon is full in Cancer today, while the sun and Mercury are in conjunction in Capricorn. This makes it an especially good time to get organized and out the door—opportunities are waiting for exploitation by someone with the right down-to-earth take on the events of the moment. With Venus in Aquarius matters of the heart are likely to take unexpected turns—that person you’ve been ignoring might turn out to be the love of your life. Watch it! But as Jupiter is also in Capricorn it’s best to limit your outlook to what is immediately practical—not a good moment for those expansive dreams you’ve been harboring in the cellars of your psyche. Focus—that’s the key.

On this day in history George Harrison quit the Beatles, walking out of the Get Back sessions with the offhand comment, See you round the clubs. Lennon suggested bringing in Eric Clapton to replace him, and aimless discordant jamming became the order of the day.

9 January 2020

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 9 January 12020 is Martyrs’ Day in Panama, Peace Agreement Day in South Sudan, Non-Resident Indian Day in India, Word Nerd Day and Static Electricity Day. Martyrs’ Day commemorates a moment in 1964 when a bunch of entitled American students in the Canal Zone took it upon themselves to run an American flag up the flagpole in front of their school while preventing a group of Panamanian students from flying their flag alongside it. In the struggle the Panamanian flag was torn, with Americans claiming that the Panamanians tore their own flag for some reason—obvious bullshit. The key point is that the flag would not have been torn if the American students hadn’t instigated the conflict. Anyway, as the result of the actions of these arrogant jerks some twenty-five people ended up dead, and the twenty-one Panamanian deaths are commemorated by this day.

8 January 2020

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 8 January 12020 is International Typing Day in Malaysia—a day devoted to commemorating and celebrating written communication, whether by typewriter, teletype, or computer. It’s also the birthday of author Wilkie Collins and songwriter David Bowie if my memory can be trusted.

I see in the news that CNN has settled in the two hundred gazillion dollar lawsuit White Privilege Poster Child Nick Sandmann launched against them; the terms are undisclosed. Snowflake Sandmann’s little feelings were hurt when the media giant didn’t praise him for fearlessly standing up to a scary Omaha tribal elder banging on a drum—or something like that. Whatever the reason, any point he may have had is buried deep in the pages of invective he chose to fill his lawsuit with rather than substantive legal points. What a joke the American legal system has become, when garbage cases like this aren’t simply thrown out with the rest of the trash.

On the local front the medical team assures me that I still have a heart and it is still working, if slightly erratically. We’ll see how that pans out, I guess. I hope it comes out better than our president’s misguided Middle East policy, at the very least.

7 January 2020

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 7 January 12020 is Old Rock Day, which we celebrate by looking at old rocks and trying to fathom their history and what they tell us of the past. As William Cowper put it: “Some drill and bore | The solid earth, and from the strata there | Extract a register, by which we learn, | That he who made it, and revealed its date | To Moses, was mistaken in its age.” That’s Cowper for you—he seems to have taken a dim view of all knowledge. If he didn’t have a sense of humor he’d fit right in with the current administration. It’s also traditionally Distaff Day, when women get back to work with their textiles after a holiday break, Pioneer’s Day in Liberia, Festa del Tricolore in Italy, Constitution Day in Ghana, and Victory over Genocide Day in Cambodia. Today is the tenth of Tevet on the old Babylonian calendar still in use among the Jews, and they continue to fast in mourning over the loss of their first temple in 9415 or whenever it really was. (I’m working from memory here.)

I haven’t looked at the news, but I assume it’s still all bad, with Australia on fire, Jakarta under water, and the campaign against the so-called Islamic State disbanded. I’m more concerned about the state of my heart at the moment—today is the day the doctor is going to look at it and decide whether I live or die, or something like that.

6 January 2020

☾

 6 January 12020 is Armed Forces Day in Iraq. It’s also Helen Kleeb’s birthday. Since even my mother didn’t seem to know who she was, I’ll observe that she got her start right here in Portland on radio, and went on to a career in movies and television. But what I remember for most strongly is playing the Witch in Stan Freberg’s Centennial Fable Oregon, Oregon. Two explorers, ad-libbing in the wilderness, make the case for statehood, and the Witch lets Oregon out of the bottle. But there’s a catch—Oregon is a magic state, and after a hundred years it will have to go back in the bottle. That’s fine with the explorers—who’s going to be around in 1959? Well, after a minute and fifteen seconds or so 1959 rolls around, and the Witch starts putting Oregon back in the bottle. But there has to be a happy ending, protests a minor character. Why, asks the Witch. This isn’t the Shirley Temple Story Book. But there is—the state is saved and the Witch meets her end. It was Helen Kleeb who carried that production—and she was also Betsy Ross (Hey, you’re tracking snow all over my early American rug!) in Freberg’s U.S.A.

The news continues to be bleak and awful—Trump refuses to pull troops out of Iraq (despite his campaign pledge) claiming that Iraq has to pay the costs of the US invasion and occupation of their country. Australia is still on fire. Trump’s impeachment continues to be stalled. Sanity is out the window. And did I mention that an obscure bootlegger, missing for over a hundred years, has turned up—or rather, that his body has finally been identified? The wonders of forensic science.

5 January 2020

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 5 January 12020: Today is National Bird Day, for whatever that is worth. The saint of the day is Telesphorus, allegedly the seventh bishop of Rome, if you go in for that sort of thing. And it’s Stella Gibbons’ birthday. She’s the author of one of my all-time favorite books—yes, Cold Comfort Farm—and like me, was a great admirer of Jane Austen.

On this date in 1895 Alfred Dreyfus was stripped of his rank and ceremonially degraded for an act of treason against France actually committed by Ferdinand Walsin Esterhazy. Of course all the pro-military right-wingers rallied behind the traitor and condemned Dreyfus for the good of the nation and all that—just as today their spiritual descendents rally behind disgraced Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher. Some things don’t change. Where the hell are Georges Picquart or Émile Zola when you really need them?

In the news we see that Australia is burning while Jakarta is drowning—and still we’re not allowed to mention climate change. And the U.S. President thinks that the best way to stop a war is to start one. I’m not sure of the logic of that—it reminds me of the kid who thought the best way of keeping bees from stinging him was to bash their hive with a two by four. That would teach them a lesson, he thought. And it probably did, too.

4 January 2020

♄

 4 January 12020 is World Braille Day, along with such disjecta membra as the Day of King Amador and the Day of the Fallen Against Colonial Oppression. As I’m feeling ill (nothing serious—just that I have to keep running to the bathroom) I don’t have much if anything to say about any of them; I’m too focused on my internal state.

America’s de facto declaration of war on Iran has stirred up the sort of international repercussions one would expect of such an incident, and President Trump seems clueless about how to deal with it. His followers insist it’s all part of a master plan—that the idiot in charge only ordered the assassination to prevent a war—and that he has hard evidence for his case. We’re supposed to take his word for it—but Trump’s word is worthless, since everything he says is a lie, so I suppose we’ll just have to wait on the revelation of this alleged hard evidence. Until then the only rational course is to fall back on the safety of disbelief. (This, by the way, is why it so important for a leader not to habitually lie—suspension of disbelief comes easier if there is reason to suppose that he or she might be telling the truth.)

In my view, by the way, Trump did the Iranians a favor by disposing of Qassem Soleimani; a martyr beats a loose cannon any day. And there are plenty of others waiting to step into his shoes.

3 January 2020

♀

 3 January 12020 is Festival of Sleep Day. That’s the best I can do, anyway. It’s Tolkein’s birthday, as well as George Martin’s. The saint of the day is Gordius of Cappadocia, a centurion who lost his job when a change of administration bought Christians into disfavor. He spent some time out in the desert—in meditation I suppose—before returning to  disrupt a chariot race at the expense of those who had worked hard to train for it and who had an actual stake in the outcome. He was martyred early in the fourth century.

The war with Iran is progressing nicely with the assassination of a high Iranian military official as ordered by the American president. Next the dumbass branch of the Republican party, along with Fox News and the Daily Howler, will be calling to an end to the impeachment process on the ground that the Commander In Chief needs to keep a clear head during this time of crisis—never mind that he brought the crisis on entirely by his own idiocy. If he cared about the good of the nation he’d do us all a favor and resign, confessing his inadequacy for the job he so rashly undertook. But that’s not going to happen. Trump’s only interest in the United States is ensuring its destruction. I can’t help wondering why.

2 January 2020

♃

 2 January 12020, Science Fiction Day, appears also to be Berchtold Day in Liechtenstein and Switzerland, Carnival Day in Saint Kitts and Nevis, and Guru Govind Singh Jayanti for Sikhs. This last is the celebration of the birthday of the tenth and last Sikh guru, who apparently codified the religion at some point during the seventeenth century. It is a movable feast from the viewpoint of the Gregorian calendar; I don’t know the details, but today is when it falls this year according to various online sources.

In the news I see that some two-bit backwoods politician (his name’s Jonathan Stickland) hasn’t heard that the efficacy of vaccines was demonstrated last century, and seems to think it is some sort of “sorcery” (his word). Texas needs to do some housecleaning ASAP. And the Dopey Don seems to be ineffectually trying to launch a war with Iran—I suppose to boost his reelection chances. Sad. And Chris Christie is predicting that three New Jersey House seats will flip from blue to red due to impeachment backlash. Crazy.

Karl Rove appears to be the latest Republican to claim that the only Democrat who can beat Trump in November is Joe Biden. I predict that if the Democrats are dumb enough to fall for that crap and run him Trump will trounce him electorally, and probably this time with at least a plurality of the popular vote. I hope I’m wrong on both counts, actually; a Biden presidency would finish the demolition job on America that Trump started, but Trump’s reelection would do the country no favors either.

Is this the end for the once-great nation? Probably not, but the road to recovery will be as long as a Russian novel and as treacherous as its current president.

1 January 2020

☿

 1 January 12020 is of course New Year’s Day for those of us on the Gregorian calendar. It appears also to be Liberation Day in Cuba and Independence Day in Sudan. And it is also the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ. It’s a windy, rainy day so far here in Portland, though as we’re only a couple of hours into it we’ll have to see how that develops.

Iraqi protesters storm the U.S. embassy and America’s commander-in-chief threatens neighboring Iran. North Korea promises the world a military surprise in the near future. The United Kingdom continues to prepare to flee the European Union next month. Iran appears to be moving toward starting an atomic weapons program in response to the United States’ withdrawal from a multi-party agreement that would have kept Iran out of the nuclear business. So the loons are firmly in charge as we lurch recklessly into the new year. Good luck to us all.

Screw You All—I’m Going Home

P

olitics bores me. The dictionary defines it as “A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.” That probably covers it. Writing as a world citizen I don’t much care if the United States continues its downward death spiral under its current coward in chief; it’s probably about time for a realignment of world power. But, as an American, I do care. It’s too late for the country to recover its position of leadership in the world—that’s gone permanently, thanks to Der Trummkopf—but it’s not too late to have some sort of seat at the table, anyway.

For that reason I would really appreciate it if the Democrats would run somebody for president that I could vote for. I mean, I’ll vote against Trump if I possibly can, in some form or another (always assuming that the Democrats don’t run the insufferably vile Michael Bloomberg), but I’d like to see somebody in the office who stands for values I actually support.

I mean, I remember 1968. I couldn’t vote then, but I remember the campaign well. You had candidates running then that I could support—but a Palestinian terrorist murdered one of them and the party sidelined the other, and at a violent Chicago convention you guys nominated Hubert Humphrey because he was electable. What about those of us who favored change? Wasn’t the party afraid of alienating them? No, came the answer from party officials—we don’t want people like that in the party. We don’t care if they never support us.

Well, in the case of at least one individual you got your wish. And you didn’t do yourselves any favors in the wake of 2016 when you announced that you were no longer interested in my issues, even though you thought I should continue to be interested in yours. (I’m not.) No, you’d rather pursue the votes of Trump supporters in diners in the hinterlands. Okay—you know what’s best for you, I suppose.

But I know what’s best for me, and if you run Joe Biden, I won’t be voting for him. He’s never done jack to deserve my vote, he’s spent his career effectively opposing causes I support, and unlike Trump he can actually get things done. So run him if you like, but you’re throwing away my vote—and that’s on you. I owe you nothing.

And by the way—I was thinking that nothing could ever make me vote for Trump. I stand corrected. If you guys run Michael Bloomberg, I will be seriously considering it. An incompetent dimwit is infinitely preferable to a calculating villain.