Screw You All—I’m Going Home

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olitics bores me. The dictionary defines it as “A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.” That probably covers it. Writing as a world citizen I don’t much care if the United States continues its downward death spiral under its current coward in chief; it’s probably about time for a realignment of world power. But, as an American, I do care. It’s too late for the country to recover its position of leadership in the world—that’s gone permanently, thanks to Der Trummkopf—but it’s not too late to have some sort of seat at the table, anyway.

For that reason I would really appreciate it if the Democrats would run somebody for president that I could vote for. I mean, I’ll vote against Trump if I possibly can, in some form or another (always assuming that the Democrats don’t run the insufferably vile Michael Bloomberg), but I’d like to see somebody in the office who stands for values I actually support.

I mean, I remember 1968. I couldn’t vote then, but I remember the campaign well. You had candidates running then that I could support—but a Palestinian terrorist murdered one of them and the party sidelined the other, and at a violent Chicago convention you guys nominated Hubert Humphrey because he was electable. What about those of us who favored change? Wasn’t the party afraid of alienating them? No, came the answer from party officials—we don’t want people like that in the party. We don’t care if they never support us.

Well, in the case of at least one individual you got your wish. And you didn’t do yourselves any favors in the wake of 2016 when you announced that you were no longer interested in my issues, even though you thought I should continue to be interested in yours. (I’m not.) No, you’d rather pursue the votes of Trump supporters in diners in the hinterlands. Okay—you know what’s best for you, I suppose.

But I know what’s best for me, and if you run Joe Biden, I won’t be voting for him. He’s never done jack to deserve my vote, he’s spent his career effectively opposing causes I support, and unlike Trump he can actually get things done. So run him if you like, but you’re throwing away my vote—and that’s on you. I owe you nothing.

And by the way—I was thinking that nothing could ever make me vote for Trump. I stand corrected. If you guys run Michael Bloomberg, I will be seriously considering it. An incompetent dimwit is infinitely preferable to a calculating villain.