Paranoia

A

 casual ramble through the overgrown paths of the nethernet shows that today is the birthday of Antonin Scalia, Shemp Howard, Douglas Adams, Rupert Murdoch, and Lawrence Welk, making it an ill-starred day for law, comedy, Vogons, news, and music.

I note that the famous Stooge has yet to be replaced; the Supreme Court stands vacant as I write this, even though it's been more than a year since he died. Come on now, can it be that hard to find another goofball capable of bending the Constitution to his own bigotry by channeling the spirits of dead eighteenth-century politicians?

Shemp Howard, of Larry, Moe, and Curly fame, on the other hand was at least unique, though apparently as forgettable as his legal counterpart. Anybody remember his rôle in Africa Screams on an expedition alongside Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, and Jethro Bodine? I thought not. I have a certain fondness for him though, as the only member of the tribe of stooges I can stand.

Stoogemeister Keith Rupert Murdoch appears to still be with us, alas, and is probably the only member of the bunch who never brightened anybody's day. I can't be sure of that, of course, but I used to know people who lived for Lawrence Welk's appearances on television, and good old Marvin the paranoid android can make anybody feel good, even if it's only by realizing that nobody can possibly feel as bad as he did.